The Worst Nigerians of 2016 Awards

by Eze Eluchie,

Often times, the failure of a people is rooted in their inability to identify the causes of their continuing decadence and misfortune. When you recognize your weak points or those factors that retard your growth, there is the likelihood, presuming the society concerned is genuinely interested in moving forward, to isolate and demobilize such minuses, wheresoever they may exist, as an integral process in moving society forward.

In realization of the fact that the Nigerian contraption currently resides far behind where even the most pessimistic had envisioned it to be, the Worst of Nigerian Awards, which is now in its fourth year, is principally geared at identifying the arrowheads amongst our numerous minuses which contributed most negatively to keeping Nigeria in the back woods where we now find her.

Expectedly, in view of the backwards slide in virtually every facet of national life which Nigeria experienced in the past 12 months, numerous worthy nominations were received for the various categories of the Awards on offer. The fact that the current regime of President Buhari is already prosecuting two of the past Awardees in the ‘Worst Minister of the Year’ Awards category – Mr. Abba Moro (Interior Minister for Interior) and Mr. Mohammed Adoke (former Minister of Justice) should serve as indication that our Awards cross political divides. It is only hoped that actions are taking much earlier to right wrongs being caused by the awardees.

The Worst Corporate Entity.

Buoyed on by a palpable desperation on the part of governments to attract and encourage Foreign Direct Investments, corporate entities in Nigeria cashed in on the already weak regulatory mechanisms to exploit the population assured that they can get away with blue murder as the governments would generally look over their crimes/faults under the guise of not scaring away investors

The usual culprits were there once more: British American Tobacco (which in 2016 had the sole distinction of continuing to market its lethal product with more aggressiveness in Nigeria whilst at the same time launching a public advisory to its users in its home-country to desist from consuming cigarettes), the Oil Conglomerates which continued with their lethal production practices that would have earned their Executives long spells behind bars in their home-country’s.

This year however, a new kid gets on the block, from an industry that is fast gaining importance and usage with our youthful population. The Awardee for this year treats local regulations with disdain; when caught with its hand in the till, greases palms to minimize fines levied; is under investigation for discrepancies regarding its foreign remittances and cash outflows; charges its users arbitrarily and has one of the worst consumer helplines in the globe.

South African headquartered Mobile Telecommunication Nigeria (MTN), is the Worst Corporate Entity for Year 2016.

The Worst State Governor/Agency

In a year when several State Governors converted huge largesse’s received from the Federation Account in the forms of bailouts to personal uses whilst failing to pay State employees and pensioners or even execute any tangible infrastructural projects, nominations for this category of the Awards was naturally validly varied.

One Governor choose to sink beneath the bounds of civility in maladministration, reducing the population over which he governs in a state of drunken stupor, wondering how they could have missed all the tell tale signs prior to allowing such a sleazy character access to their States treasury and administration. From forcing civil servants and pensioners to sign unto documents forfeiting sizable portions of their salaries in order to get meagre sums; to criminally substandard public infrastructure works (severally collapsed tunnels and buildings); to destroying the traditional and cultural heritage of the people; and grabbing .lands belonging to entire communities for self use; the recipient of this year’s Awards in this category has become a serial awardee, having won the awards twice in the past three years.

The Worst State Governor is Imo State’s Mr. Rochas Okorocha.

The Worst Federal Minister/Agency

From its delay in appointing his Ministers, it was quite clear that Nigeria’s current ruling regime, though it had plans to acquire power as can be discerned from the aggressiveness with which it pursued the cause, simply had no plans for governance. This lack of preparedness has manifested in very poor performances by the Federal Ministers and Agencies. The catalogue of misfortune seems endless. From a Lawyer who was appointed Minister for Works/Power/Housing who is clearly out of his depth as he is clueless about the fundamentals of the issues of the Ministries over which he superintends, to a Finance Minister whose novice status in national economic management and fiscal issues is glaring, to a Technology Minister who has set his sights on producing pencils (Yes PENCILS for writing) for the year 2019. Never have we received such multiplicity and diversity of nominees for this category of the Awards.

One Minister however outshone his colleagues in terms of his idiocy, cluelessness and general lack of understanding of his role. A Minister who once questioned what the country’s soccer team was doing being stranded in the United States in a scheduled pre-Olympic training and wished the team remain abandoned in the US; a Minister who followed up such infamy by revealing that the Federal Government did not anticipate the female national football teams successes at the African Female Nations cup – and as such there was no provision for the teams allowances following their victory at the tournament.

A federal agency was particularly outstanding in the number of nominations it received for this Award. An agency that inherited relatively modest operational guidelines and modalities, that always tried to do things by the books had decided to throw caution to the winds and was openly partisan and incredulously partial in its activities. The Independent National Election Commission (INEC – also known commonly as the Inconclusive National Election Commissions on accounts of the high number of inconclusive elections it had recorded within the short period of its current leadership) has severally, by its opaque umpire role in elections it has thus far conducted, pushed several Nigerian States to a precipice and likelihood of violence.

For the first time ever, we have joint winners of an award under this category. The winners of the Worst Federal Minister/Agency are: Mr. Solomon Dalung (Minister for Youth & Sports) and the Independent National Elections Commission (INEC)!

The Worst Nigeria.

At his assumption of Office in May 2015, the Nigerian economy was rated the fastest growing and largest economy in Africa. By spectacular dint of policy summersaults, vindictive posturing, self-debasement before the international community, palpable ignorance of economic principles and outright cluelessness, the fortunes of the Nigerian contraption was meteorically reversed to an economy in recession, spiralling inflation, the local currency broke all records in the negative directions, unemployment rates skyrocketed and capital flight exceeded all known bounds as all and sundry sought to escape from an impending collapse.

On the social and political fronts, the tenuous fabric which created a semblance of unity of purpose was recklessly shredded as this character pronounced and displayed outright hate for sizable segments of the population, thus engendering separatist agitations across the land;  At the same time, rampaging gangs of vicious herdsmen, buoyed on by the cloak of seeming invincibility accorded by support from federal security and military operatives, exterminate and commit atrocities at will without any fear of being called to account.

As a result of this characters terrible rulership, the only light Nigerians are seeing as they are stuck in the tunnel is that of an oncoming train.  At current rates, something must give come 2017.

The recipient of the Worst Nigerian Award for Year 2017 is the current head of Nigeria's ruling junta, Mr. Muhammadu Buhari.

The ignoble Baddies trophy:

A Cattle Rearing Army?

by Eze Eluchie, 

At a time when brave young Nigerians soldiers fighting terrorists in our North Eastern flanks have featured in a video recording that has gone viral in Nigeria, begging their Commander-in-Chief for food and appropriate enabling environment to exist, talk less of being combat-ready and capable; and when within a space of 2 week Boko Haram terror elements killed several Nigerian soldiers including 4 Lieutenant Colonels; and when millions of dollars (some provided by foreign donor governments and agencies meant for Internally Displaced Persons have been diverted to spurious uses by high ranking government officials; Nigeria’s Chief of Army Staff, General Tukur Buratai announces that the Army has sent some of its officers to Argentina for training, not to be better soldiers, but to learn ‘cattle rearing’@£#$ and that the Army intends to establish cattle grazing facilities in all its Divisions@#??????

When it is realized that the Federal Government, which coincidentally has a man who has a cattle ranch as President, had not too long ago floated the idea of appropriating lands across the Nigerian contraption to ease transit problems of Fulani herdsmen and the same Federal Government had through one of its Ministers, in addition embarked on the importation of some special specie of grass from Argentina for the cows consumption (Perhaps in importing this special grass, the Agriculture Minister had forgotten that it was not solely the grass that made the Argentine cows so productive. Other factors which this ‘extremely hyper intelligent’ Nigerian government should likewise have included in its import list from Argentina must include Argentine water, Argentine climate, and of course Argentine soil where the cows will trod on); one begins to appreciate the true direction of the Army Chief’s drift towards creating a specialized Cow Herding Brigade or Unit in the Army.

General Buratai, this your Army Cattle Grazing fields hogwash is merely another ruse to appropriate lands owned by others for cattle grazing! This regime has been more about Cows! Cows!! And Cows!!! Without giving a hoot about the people!

Nigerians appreciate the sacrifices of the dedicated soldiers who are doing their very best, even in the absence of necessary equipment's to save the society from terrorists and other criminal elements. But this idea of training soldiers as cattle herdsmen is far, far, far beneath the rank of soldiering or what some of those who volunteered to join the Nigerian Army thought the noble duties of a soldier entails.

What becomes of a soldier ordered/deployed by his commanding officer to the 'Cattle Rearing Brigade of the Nigerian Army who has conscientious objections to such service? Will he be disciplined, subjected to court martial proceedings and or dismissed from service?

Restructuring and Renegotiating the Nigerian contraption will allow for those who prioritize cows over human beings to be at liberty to do what they feel is best in their own context without dragging other peoples down their self-chosen paths.

What mortal sin could Nigeria and Nigerians have committed to deserve this Buhari fellow and his ineptly clueless bunch?

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/12/nigerian-army-set-cattle-ranches-nationwide/

Picture: A ‘military cow’ – the likely outcome of Nigeria’s efforts to create cattle ranches at all its Divisions.

Foreign Interference in Domestic Elections

by Eze Eluchie,

With the probable exception of levying war on or physical occupation of a country, interference with intent to influence whosoever gets to ascend into leadership, from foreign authorities, on the selection process(es) of any given country’s leadership stands out as the worst disrespect and abuse of sovereignty any country can suffer from another. By seeking to decide for a country who gets to rule over them, the interfering country not only seeks to place itself in the manner of a colonial authority but worse still, it seeks that notorious position whilst at the same time creating an impression on the minds of the nationals of the country whose (s)election process has been interfered with, that the externally imposed stooge is a product of local preferences and processes.

The practice of one State seeking to decide who rules over other States is certainly not a new vocation; it is a vile practice dating back centuries but which has, with increased international interaction and collaboration amongst states, become a common feature of international relations and the so-called ‘new world order’. Countries with a focused and conscious leadership will ordinarily want other countries they share borders with to be governed by entities who are, at the very least, of like minds, or where possible, of a subservient disposition. With increased globalization, the borders of any given country is now far beyond its mere physical borders, extending to countries far removed from its territory but with which it has sizable relationships. As the meaning of ‘borders’ has been stretched under the concept of globalization, so also has the extent to which countries wish to interfere in the leadership (s)election processes been stretched to, in some instances, to virtually any country in the world.

Foreign interference in leadership (s)election processes can be subtle or brazen, intellectual or military or an admixture of several styles. Often times, a majority of the citizens of the territory whose leadership (s)election process is being interfered with by foreign authorities may be unaware of such interferences. For instance, the fact that the erstwhile colonial overlords of African countries have interfered in the leadership (s)election processes of the now ‘independent’ African States has been one of the worst guarded secrets in International Affairs: whilst the British routinely interfere in their former territories (Anglophone African countries), the French play same role in the Francophone African countries.  These interferences usually comes in the form of reports of so-called ‘international election monitoring and observer missions’ which subtly issue real threats when results of polls do not toe the line of the colonial overlords and simply look the other way with such comments as ‘though there were pockets of irregularities, such irregularities do not impugn the integrity of the process’, if the ‘overlords’ preferred was able to emerge victorious despite palpable local wishes to the contrary. At other instances, military interventions and coups are instigated to scuttle a regime deemed not-compliant and ensure the emergence of stooges.

Notorious instances of foreign interference in the leadership (s)election process of countries include the United States and Belgian instigated assassination of Patrice Lumumba of Congo DRC, and the imposition of a stooge, Mobutu Sese Seko in his stead in 1966. Congo DRC is yet to recover from the ensuing disaster unleashed by the foreign interference as war and strive now bedevil what is universally recognized as a country that ought to, on account of its resources, have been a leading and industrial light in the African continent. The scuttling of the electoral victory of the Islamic Salvation Front (FIS) during the 1991 Algerian elections and the imposition of a more compliant military junta by foreign authorities has served, till date, to deepen distrust of the democratic process by Islamists across Arabia.     

The 2015 Presidential elections in Nigeria is yet a more recent instance of foreign intervention in the leadership (s)election process of countries. In addition to unwarrantedly sending key officials of its administration to ‘caution’ Nigerian authorities over ‘interfering in Nigerian elections’, the United States adopted policies and actions that showed it (and by extension the amorphous ‘international community’) would not accommodate the then incumbent administration if it emerged victorious in the elections. The icing on the ‘foreign interference’ cake during the Nigerian 2015 Presidential elections was the visit, a few days to the 2015 elections, by the Prosecutor of the International Criminal Court, Ms. Fatou Bensouda, to disrespectfully and flagrantly threaten the incumbent authority in Nigeria with ‘investigation and prosecution’ before the ICC in the event of any post-election violence. The quantum of threats scared the living daylights out of then incumbent President, Goodluck Jonathan, who did not even bother for definitive results to be released before conceding defeat to his main adversary, despite evidence of widespread debilitating electoral fraud that would have truncated the election process.

It is in the light of the foregoing that one appreciates and understands the angst and indignation expressed by United States President, Barack Obama, and a wide array of US citizens and politicians from diverse political parties and their security establishments in response to credible and highly probably evidence of foreign interference in the 2016 US Presidential elections.  The likelihood that the major global superpower would be ruled by a person who probably got into office not solely on the basis of the desires of the American people but rather with support from elsewhere is most worrisome. The inherent and underlying insult and utter lack of respect of a states sovereignty embedded in foreign interference in the US presidential elections stank to the heavens! This is, however, exactly the same sentiments felt by discerning citizens of those countries whose leadership has been determined by foreign authorities for quite awhile.

The fundamental concept of mutual respect for the sovereignty of states upon which inter-state relations is predicated upon is fatally assaulted when foreign authorities take it upon themselves to interfere in the leadership (s)election processes of other states. It is hoped that states will desist from the urge interfere in the leadership (s)election processes of other states and when such allegations of interfering with other countries electoral process is established, there ought to be an international mechanism to sanction the erring state.

Picture: Patrice Lumumba (victim of 1960 foreign interference in Congo DRC) and Donald Trump (supposed beneficiary of Russian interference in US 2016 presidential elections).