Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The Worst Nigerian Awards for Year 2014

by Eze Eluchie

It is with sorrowful hearts filled with longings as to what might have been if the winners of the awards been bestowed today had, rather than the path they had paced, opted to contribute positively towards societal advancement, that the winners of the 2nd edition of the Annual The Worst Nigerians Awards are today announced.

Considering that so many others, via their various untoward acts which served to ensure the comatose and retrogressive state of the Nigerian polity, were in contention as recipients of the Awards for 2014, the eventual winners of these Awards (losers in real terms) outshined the rest in negativity.

The Annual Worst Nigerians Awards is geared towards highlighting some of the entities who have caused us to be where we are whilst the rest of the world keeps on forging ahead. It is hoped that those who are bestowed with this Awards will strive to ensure that the purge themselves of the persona which attracted such bestowal and that others who are towing the path of infamy will have sufficient motivation to make a reverse for the betterment of self and State.

As usual, the Awards are in 4 categories, and the winners are:

The Worst Corporate Entity:
For its continuing leadership role in the pollution and destruction of the Nigerian environment, rendering thousands of hectares of virgin coastal and mangrove territories uninhabitable to all living things (man, plants, animals and whatsoever); using its wealth of resources to unscrupulously scuttle whatsoever efforts the populations directly affected by their prospecting and production operations may explore to seek redress for various injustices; institutionalizing the practice of using military and police forces, maintained and paid for by tax payers, against the very tax payers and members of the public such security agencies are meant to protect; Shell Petroleum Development Company (and the  various pseudonyms under which it operates) is hereby bestowed with the Worst Corporate Entity for 2014.

The Worst Governor/State Agency:
One clear reason why the Nigerian polity remains where it is whist others are advancing could be traceable to the fact that the contenders for this Award were quite numerous – the very people who ought to have served to bring governance closer to the people became the albatross of the people. Competition for this particular Award was quite stiff, with the eventual winner outscoring his closest rival, Governor Theodore Orji of Abia State merely by his internationalization and broad implications of his misgovernance on not just the residents and citizens of his State, but the entire Nigerian State and beyond.

For serving as the arrowhead of the politicization of extremist Islamist terrorism in Nigeria; presiding over a territory where some of the vilest acts of terror experienced anywhere in the world in year 2014 occurred - the ‘abduction’ of school girls in Chibok, rushing abroad soon after the said abduction to appear before various media outlets to embark on a campaign of calumny against the Nigerian State over terror; announcing to the world that he had knowledge of where the Chibok ‘abductees’ were being held; presenting various ‘students’ (who somehow evade the various military road blocks all over his State to show up at the Government House in the capital city) as escapees from the terrorists; and ultimately profiting handsomely from terror by continually collecting billions of U.S. Dollars from the Nigerian treasury under the guise of his States allocation from the national revenue, when in reality his authority does not extend beyond the State capital city; the character presently occupying the exalted office of Governor of Bornu State in Nigeria’s north-eastern region, Mr. Kashim Shettima is hereby bestowed with the The Worst Governor/State Agency Award for 2014.

The Worst Federal Minister/Federal Agency
The holder of this Award from 2013 has in no way altered his mannerisms. Deliberate acts and omissions of the awardee for 2014 serve to stand him out for extra recognition. From using a sham consultancy outfit to superintend over a recruitment exercise in the Immigration Service, an exercise which unfortunately led to the demise of several young unemployed Nigerians who had been conned into paying to die – homicides for which no responsibility has till date been acknowledged;  to disgraceful mass outbreaks in Prisons all over the country; to a failure to resign from his office in the face of glaring incompetence, a failure which served to portray the Nigerian State as a State where government appointees can get away with whatsoever, including murder; the Minister in charge of the Federal Ministry of Interior of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Mr. Abba Moro is hereby bestowed with the Award of The Worst Federal Minister/Federal Agency for Year 2014.

The Worst Nigerian.
In most other climes, those who have been opportune to hold the highest political offices in their countries, often retire to a serene and highly respected lifestyle where they routinely advise their successors on how best to advance the polity. When however a man who has held such highest office, not once, but twice, ruling over his country for an unprecedented 10 years – years of waste and evil, decides upon retirement, to do all he can to create disquiet and division, champion anarchy and bequeath a legacy of lies and deliberate distortion of history and reality with a view to presenting himself as a ‘messiah’, then something really devious is afoot.

Perpetually embroiled in very publicized conflicts with his immediate family, ever exchanging verbal attacks with his peers in uniform and in politics, an uncouth character lacking in morals and intellect and unworthy to serve as a model to any desirous of progress, Mr. Olusegun Obasanjo, ex-dictator and ex-President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, has by almost unanimity of nominations retained the award he won last year and is hereby once more bestowed with the Award of Worst Nigerian for Year 2014.


It is sincerely hoped that these Awards will serve its desired goals of dissuading those who may be inclined to toe the odious path laid by the awardees hereby presented to think twice and change course and ultimately spare the Nigerian polity and the international community at large the pains occasioned by the lives and activities of winners of the Worst Nigerians Awards.


The Worst Nigerian  Award Trophy 


No comments:

Post a Comment